Why?! Cuz I'm a grown ass man!!

**LT1RUNNER** · 02-20-2009, 10:04 AM

I'm got up this morning, went into the kitchen wearing only my thong , er, boxers and poured a cup of coffee and sit down at my table to read the sports page. I'm going to have all the lights on with all the windows open for all the neibhors to see!! Why?! I can do what ever I want to! Cuz I'm a grown ass man! Next I'm going to sit on my shitter with my legs stretched out like I'm sitting on a recliner and read my latest edition of motor trend and take the loudest, smelliest, gut turning, squshiest, massive dump I can.....with the door wiiiiiiiiide open!! Why!? Cuz I'm a grown ass man!!! After that I'm going to get into my car, start it up and just sit there a rev the engine all the way to the redline! My neibhors on the next block are going to hear my flowmasters!!! Why?! Cuz I'm a grown ass man!! After that I'm going to blast my stereo so loud that even the crew of the space shuttle are going to say "hey, you hear that?". I'm going to play the loudest, hardest heavy metal I can find!! Chimara, Devil Driver, Lamb of G0d, Boy George! Boy George?! WTF?!? Damn wifey!! They neibhors are going to see me driving by bobbin my head to the music like I'm having seizure!! Why!? Cuz I'm a grown ass man!! Then I'm going to drive to work like I'm trying to win a nascar race. F*ck photo radar!!! Ever pic they get is going show me giving them the one finger wave. Why?! Cuz I'm a grown ass man!! When I get to work I'm going to smack all my female co-workers in the ass as they walk by!! I'm going to tell the fine looking ones how fine they are and I'm going to tell the ugly ones how f*cken ugly they really are too!! I'm going degrade them and laugh at the reasons of why they bleed and cry for no reason and make them hate being a women!! Why!? Cuz I'm a grown ass man!! Then I'm going to tell my boss lady that I AM leaving an hour early just because the hair in my ass said so. I'm going to smack her in the tit and tell her that I might be in on Monday and with that walk away. Why?! Cuz I'm a grown ass man!! Then I'm going to go home, piss on my lawn in full view for all to see, get a BJ and something to eat and it better be home cooked and hot!!! Why?! Cuz I'm a grown ass man!!! So enjoy your manhood men!! We are truly blessed with a great life!! We can do what ever the f*ck we want to!! Why?! Cuz we are grown ass men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!