need to vent.......

[SSlowBoat]

been a rocky past few months. things were going great, had a beautiful baby boy at the end of july, work was steady and good with plentiful overtime, our 2 year old daughter was great, money in the bank, etc, etc. then the downward spiral which seems to happen to me every year around this time. shit literally hits the fan. first that MRSA infection i contracted from a cut while working at New Jersey City University (place is a dump), overtime suddenly stopped, had to miss days of work with no sick time left to make up union school that i missed from infection, then our newborn wouldnt really eat. he would take two sips of a bottle and freak out screaming like he was in pain, or freak out and more or less pass out. seemed like he was out of breath alot. doctors visits over and over again, switch formula 4 times, still has issues. hes on gas drops, baby liquid zantac since they think he has acid reflux, and now the allergist said we should put him on hypoallergenic formula. $40 bux a can x2-3 a week. hes not gaining weight like he should either, and because he always doesnt feel good he is behind on the lifting his head and belly time to learn to crawl.

in the middle of the baby formula fiasco we took him to the doctors' for his normal first shots, she listened to his heartbeat as always, and grew concerned. she thought she might hear a murmur, but it was faint and probably nothing, but to go get a echo and ekg on his heart. i wasnt able to go since we are scraping every week right now with me trying to support myself 2 kids and a stay at home mom. my wife takes him, and they see something in the lower wall between the left and right ventricles. there is a hole there, they couldnt get a good picture though, but there is definitely a hole. they told us its possibly a VSD, or ventricle side defect, it causes blood that has already went through his lungs to bypass back into the unoxigenated side of his heart and just go through his lungs again, not out to his body. basically he isnt getting enough o2. well shit.....

now i sit here and wait until his next appointment, where they are going to sedate a 3 month old to get a better picture of his heart. if the hole is small (hopefully), then it may just heal on its own. if its large enough, he may need some type of surgery to go in and patch it/stitch it/whatever they do. i just feel so bad for him, that there is nothing i can really do but wait. i just want little man to be healthy, like my daughter was when she was little. my daughter is lashing out, terrible 2's to the extreme, climbed on the counter and got some gas-x pills out of my wifes purse and chewed them.....luckily they wont hurt her. me and the wife are at each-others throats every day when i get home from work. shes stressed to the max with him screaming all day and having to be held, yet trying to take care of our girl too.

im stressed to all hell with worrying about her, the kids, work, money, doctors, the firebird, etc. been working off a scissor lift fully extended for two weeks now in a warehouse and its not good to not totally have your head in the game up there. the car was keeping me straight for a little bit, now its frustrating me that i cant finish the things i left to do after putting it together, since i needed to get it done to have a daily again.

end rant, for now. sorry guys. just had to put it all into one thing. little stress relief i guess.

btw: thank you to anyone i talked to on facebook that are keeping us and little man in your thoughts and prayers, means alot to me and my wife that people we really dont know face to face care.

[popo8]

Dont you dare appologize man.... This is where we shine and why LTXtech and its members are who we are. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, and although traffic on here may be slow...as people see this I know....I KNOW you will get well wishes, and prayers.


Being the non religious type, I pass on my thoughts for you , the family and especially the lil one. If there is anything I can do...please dont hesitate...and vent....its healthy, even if no one responds...TYPE it out...and get it out, or your gonna pop.


Same note, but different topic.... when I was in the hospital dealing with my issues...the people here were better to me than (besides Miss POPO and my parents) anyone around me. We have something very special here.....

[GreenZ96]

Stay in the game man, things will get better. I've been there/ still there, minus the kids. We weren't all dealt a great hand in life, we just gotta make the best with what we have.

[SSlowBoat]

Thank you dude. Ever since i got on this forum and started talking to you and a few others it truly does feel like an extended family. Ive ranted and raved to you about all kinds of stuff at all hours of the night and youve listened. Thank you for the wishes. It means alot. The whole thing just sucks. Even though we were young new parents, joelene was so easy to take care of. We thought if edward was half as good as her, this will be a cakewalk. We were waay wrong. Ontop of that we were financially finally ahead, money in savings and spending money, paying off outstanding bills. Then poof it disappears.

I would explode, ive been nasty to everyone around me and i didnt even realize it. My performance at work is suffering because i cant think straight. Simple shit i know how to do quick and easy are taking hours because my mind is scattered.

[popo8]

Thank you dude. Ever since i got on this forum and started talking to you and a few others it truly does feel like an extended family. Ive ranted and raved to you about all kinds of stuff at all hours of the night and youve listened. Thank you for the wishes. It means alot....

ITs how WE DO! Stay strong man.

[SSlowBoat]

@popo8 THANK YOU for the other thing. That gesture of kindness i am really grateful for. You truly are a good dude. That took one thing off my mind for today, now for the other 9000 things haha

[popo8]

@popo8 THANK YOU for the other thing. That gesture of kindness i am really grateful for. You truly are a good dude. That took one thing off my mind for today, now for the other 9000 things haha

NP man.. PM sent on FB.... I need some more info from you.

[Neil350]

Sounds rough man, hope everything works out.

[Blackbird96WS6]

As I said last night, we will keep your son and family in our prayers that everything pulls through. Stay strong, brotha, we're all here for you!

[ginoz28]

Take everyday one day at a time and put yourself in your wife's shoes, I'm sure it's hard for her to.

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